The Power of The Pivot | How to Embrace the Detours of Life & Realize You've Already Arrived

Hello, Masterful Listeners. Welcome to episode two of the Masterful Listening Podcast. I'm Svet. I'm not gonna introduce myself again if you're curious to learn a little bit about me. You can listen to the trailer. The first episode. These are all gonna kind of keep going as a story. As I said, this is the first listening school that you actually want to go to. So today, our topic is the power of the pivot. I've been called a pivot queen. I've also been called by myself the biggest failure I know, and I love it. I'll explain a little bit more about that later. But we're gonna talk about,

or I'm gonna talk about, and hopefully you're gonna listen masterfully, or at least a little more masterfully, to a story about failure and how because I learned to appreciate failure and the word no and the pivot that has to happen when basically the thing you thought you wanted or the place you thought you wanted to go is no longer most aligned, and then you have to shift directions, and then things are uncertain. And by the way, uh, from a neuroscience perspective, because I'm also fascinated with how our brain works, and so I've been studying that for many, many, many years, our brain registers uncertainty as a

gap, literally, like a whole. Change and pivoting is often uncertain. So, what happens when our brain sees a gap is it wants to fill it because we don't like feeling uncertain. We don't like feeling like we don't know. And so that is why it's so hard to do. It takes a lot of courage to shift gears. But as I discovered early in my career, in my first job in sales and business development, where I had essentially a year in the dream. All I wanted was to travel, live abroad, and go to Europe. And suddenly here I was, I got a promotion. I was about to be

the youngest director in the history of the company, London, Paris, Berlin. I would have given my left arm or any arm, the other one, to have this opportunity. But when I got it, it felt so wrong and I didn't take it. I fucking pivoted. It didn't make sense. A lot of my pivots didn't make sense to everyone else. And honestly, they didn't even always make sense to me. And yet I trusted my inner voice because I was listening to some part of myself that knew better. I keep finding because truly that life mantra I shared in episode one, I believe, a no is a yes to

something better. I keep finding that that mantra is why I love the pivot. Now, when something falls apart, uh, when I get rejected, when I realize, oh, I gotta shift gears, I'm excited because I think, oh, what's coming now, it's gonna be better. I am literally convinced in my bones that the things that we, you know, were going for that didn't go our way weren't supposed to. It's really hard, honestly, to deal with that, right? Like if you've ever really wanted something or someone, a relationship, a career path, and you realize at some point, oh shit, I think I need to pivot this. Maybe I need

to end it, maybe I need to go a different direction. It's like that's really hard. And I realized in that first job that it felt like I was running a race. And I was winning that race, by the way. But then it hit me that I'm like, wait a minute, I'm running in the wrong direction. I don't care about winning this race. I want to run in the direction that's now most aligned. So yeah, if you find yourself winning the wrong race, uh probably better to enter the right race because it's not about winning, it's about living authentically for you. And that means you're allowed to

change your mind. What a concept. Uh again, I feel like sometimes when I say these things, I make them sound so simple. And I just want to acknowledge these are not easy things to do, but they're actually quite simple in concept, right? But it isn't until we start living our concepts and the things we say that we know that life changes. You know, as a coach, I've been saying all kinds of wise things for a long time. I've funny enough, I've had people say I'm their guide and guru, which is, you know, uh coming from a very sweet place. And yet, no, I'm just asking questions

and I'm listening and I'm reflecting back the genius wisdom that I'm hearing that none of us see. The most incredible people I meet all have that imposter syndrome where they don't think they're good enough or smart enough or this enough or that enough, right? I know you have that because you're human. So get real with yourself. We all have that. I used to think some people had this voice and other people didn't. No. Uh and how much are you listening to that inner critic imposter? That's lying versus to your higher self, your essence, your soul. They did a study years ago. I don't remember uh exactly

who did it, but they studied the top 1% of all Ivy League students at the top universities in the US, and they found that something like 99% of them all said that they were worried that someone would find out they weren't actually as smart as like people thought. Isn't that insane? I mean, think about it. And yet, even me, I still often find myself saying that like I'm not that smart because in my mind, the story that I've always told myself is I'm funny, I'm creative, I'm a risk taker, I'm charismatic. I've never said I was smart. That's just not a word that resonated with me.

And then recently I've realized, you know, I am smart. I am intelligent. I've studied my whole life. I'm very well read and like I can own that, but it's just even me noticing myself. I have imposter syndrome. I struggle with all this shit too. Hello? We're always teaching what we need to learn, right? So pivoting for me is pivotal. In fact, this episode is dedicated to the greatest pivot of my life, my compassionate canine companion, Rad. Rad is a doggy who I adopted a little over a year ago. And his birthday, he's turning 10, is in four days. And why he is a pivot is I

never liked dogs. Like ever. It was really weird to not like dogs living in California because where I live, everybody's obsessed with dogs, which is totally fine with me. But the truth is, I never had a dog. Uh, I was bitten by a dog, dogs shed, dogs lick people's faces. Gross. So I said no, ew. I literally said, I will never let a dog do that. My friends tried to convince me to get a dog because I'm single and they're like, well, you should get a dog. And I'm like, no, I don't, I don't, I just don't like dogs. And then last year, the day after

Halloween, I think it was a Sunday, I was feeling like shit. I had a headache. I just was tired. And I thought, well, let me just try to watch a movie. And the movie that popped up on my screen was called Dog with Channing Tatum, who I love for many reasons. Shout out to Mr. Channing Tatum because you changed my life. Uh, by the time I finished watching Dog, I was bawling on my couch. And suddenly I knew I want to get a dog. So I just looked at the nearest shelter. And three days later, Rad was home with me because when I went to the

shelter, all I thought was, okay, I need a dog that like doesn't bark and that's super chill. Uh, I'd never actually met a dog that didn't bark and was chill, but I thought, well, I can't handle anything else, which is literally I just know myself. Also, I had just started my company, Rad Hats for Rad Humans, like three months prior. So I had art supplies everywhere, like needles and scissors and fabric, and I've seen my friends' dogs, and they like eat everything and kind of are wild. Rad came out to meet me and he walked over gently and put his head on my knee as if

I've known him forever. And I think in a year I've had him, I've maybe heard him bark five times. Rad is a miracle. He's a soulmate. We met each other at the right time, and now I get it. His hair is everywhere. And when he licks my face, I'm like the happiest human in the world. That's why I say Rad is the best pivot of my life. In fact, I realized this year because I was in another pivot. Uh I just graduated a Stanford medical school program on compassion. I am now certified as an ambassador of compassion. Okay. Now, as a person who was convinced I

wasn't smart my whole life, the idea that I could get into Stanford medical school was laughable. Uh, and also the fact that when I applied to this program, I was like severely depressed in sweatpants, sitting on a couch at my favorite coffee shop because I'd read one of the most incredible books of my life, Into the Magic Shop by James Doty. And I learned that through his work as a very well-known and respected neurosurgeon, uh, he basically discovered uh through having a mentor, a woman he met at a magic shop as a teenager, that mindfulness and compassion would ultimately be the greatest medicine. Uh, he was

giving a talk, and the Dalai Lama was either there or heard about it. I don't remember exactly, but the Dalai Lama was so moved by this man's research, work, heart that he donated millions of dollars the first time ever outside of a Tibetan cause so that James Doty could launch, create the Center for Altruism and Compassion Research. Or I might have said that backwards. The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research. If anyone's listening here from Stanford, don't be offended. I am so overwhelmed right now by the power of the pivot that my mind is honestly, you know, inspired to the point where it's not the point

to get the name right. The point is when I heard there was a program at Stanford where you can become certified and learn about being an impactor of applied compassion, meaning not just, you know, understanding compassion, but using it because compassion is a tool. I thought, well, I mean, there's no way this is gonna work, but I might as well, I might as well apply. Not only did I get in, they even gave me a bit of a grant because I was vulnerable and shared that I was going through a very, very hard time. And I'd been doing this work as a mental wealth advocate for

all these years in order to break stigma around mental health. And it's still really hard to admit, oh wow, I'm in a really shitty mental health moment and um uh financially I'm struggling. And they were compassionate, and I gotta tell you, this was the most incredible experience of my life. And I just graduated this weekend. Uh I'm gonna do a whole other episode on that. In fact, my first guest for my longest episode up until now, which is probably gonna be either the next one or the one after, is someone I met in this program on the very last day in the last five minutes. And

this woman was one of the most incredible, compassionate humans I've ever met. I'm not even gonna say more, but if you can feel right now what I'm saying and feeling, tune in and find out. The point is that was a pivot. It was a pivot, and it was a pivot I made at such a hard time. So I just want to acknowledge pivots can be hard. And pivots can be fun, right? Sometimes you're realizing, oh shit, I want to switch gears just because something happened in my life. I met a new person, I read a new book, whatever. One of the most compassionate and rad things

you could do for yourself is let yourself change. I've literally woken up one day and just was a new person. That was confusing because somehow, well, that how does that make sense? I think that's why the idea of marriage to me never made sense. I was like, well, how do I know that if I commit forever, I will always feel that way, which is why I never really wanted to get married. And now I believe I will, because it actually seems like the most insane thing you could do. And yet, how beautiful is it? I think, though, in my marriage, it would be I would wake

up every day and check in on, hey, what do we want to commit to today? Because honestly, that's the thing, right? We don't know what's gonna happen. We we're not mind readers and psychics to the point where we know the future as an actual psychic, as well. I've had these abilities my whole life. Now I've just learned to understand them because I've had to try to figure out the multi-dimensionality of, I hope I said that word correctly. Yeah. We're all multidimensional. So it was confusing that I could be this like math genius kid and have such a fast mind and do crazy math equations and uh

use a left brain and then be this like artist sensitive psychic. Like those two things didn't make sense. And so now I realize they don't have to. Things actually don't need to make sense to me anymore. I trust the universe so much because I really believe the plan that it has is so much better because of all the pivots I made. I always ended up in a place that was literally better than what I wanted. The next person I met after my heart was broken into a bazillion pieces that people have said to me, Svet, after what you've been through, I can't even believe you still

believe in love. And I'm like, I do. Because just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it's not possible. I'm just gonna choose to believe that I can be one of the people that has that glorious love story in this world because the only way I'm ever gonna have it is if I first think it's possible, right? So allowing yourself to change is a very important part of pivoting. Okay. Let me give you this analogy that I once heard. Again, I don't even remember sometimes whether I've invented these things or I heard them somewhere, but I will link everything in the podcast that I know uh

someone else created, like into the magic shop and um those studies I mentioned. Here's an analogy, and it's very simple because you know simplicity is genius, is one of my favorite quotes. If you listened last time, you cannot get out of prison unless you first realize you're in prison. All right, guys. This is why awareness is everything. So the point is you can keep fighting the fact that you've ended up in a prison. Meaning you've ended up in your life, maybe you're super unhappy in your job, you're super unhappy in your relationship, you're super unhappy in your creative endeavor, and you're like, oh shit, I I

need to change something, I need to pivot. But first, just being aware that, yeah, this is where you're at, and it's okay. You gotta do that first before you change anything. Because if you're gonna keep denying and fighting with the reality of that your life isn't where you want it to be, which is pretty much every single human I've ever met at some point, you can't shift it. And that's called masterful listening to yourself. It's okay if you kind of failed to feel like you wanted to feel or make as much money as you wanted to make or whatever. I know what it feels like to

be so deeply in love with someone I thought was gonna be my husband a few times. I also know what it's like to get my dream job, like when I became the head of storytelling and then realized I was miserable. I remember working at Delivering Happiness in my 20s when I was finally at the place literally I dreamed. I was at Google before I got that job, which was the place that like everybody dreamed of working. And I remember stepping outside of my one of the cool buildings, you know, and I just met the people who ran Delivering Happiness, which again, for those who might not

know, started after Tony Shea wrote the book, Delivering Happiness, and it just created this movement. And suddenly Harvard Business Review had a happy face on the cover. And I'd been talking about being happy at work for years, but no one was listening to me because I hadn't made a billion dollars, right? So I get that. And suddenly when Tony Shea was talking about it, my actual friend who's a doctor, Alana, shout out to you. I'll never forget you sent me that book. She goes, Hey, Svet, read this book. I think you're gonna, huh, I think you're gonna relate. Yeah, Tony figured out that the only way

his company was gonna do well is if the people were happy and the culture was good, because guess what? This isn't some woo-woo California stuff. And I say this as a mid-woo person. Uh, this makes money, okay? Uh, being happy at work, being fulfilled, being able to pivot quickly, that actually makes money. So not only does it feel better, it actually works better. And I always say this like as a I say mid-woo, meaning I believe in spirit and you know, psychic abilities and intuition and uh all that woo stuff, truly, that is my essence. And yet, I also don't. I believe in data and logic

and facts and um kind of the more grounded earthly things, human things, simply because I am human and when I kept fighting any part of myself, it didn't work. So now I say I'm in the middle because the middle way, which is basically what every tradition in the history of the universe talks about that's wise and loving, uh, says that is because it's true. I had a profound moment in my life in therapy. I did youngin analysis for gosh, I don't know, seven years. Actually, that saved my life too. Uh, other episode, we're gonna dive into that as well. But my therapist, my analyst said to

me, I don't know what she was saying, but we were talking about how like I was all big and bright sometime. And then sometimes I was so depressed. And that's why they said I'm bipolar, because in the Western world, when someone is super multidimensional and has this continuum like me, that is frankly the most vast one of anyone I've ever met, you know, it it's almost like a clinically confusing thing. And so I get it. And I was also having my own spiritual dark night of the soul, my shamanic awakening. And some part of me was fighting this idea of being in the middle. It felt

so boring. And I even said something like, Ugh, beige. My uh clinician uh analyst who literally saved my life. I am sending her such a big hug, Leela. I hope you can feel it. Uh, she looked at me. She always wore beige, she was so calm. She spoke in a different tone, and I loved her, and sometimes I was so frustrated. She looked at me and she said something like, like, one day when when you might appreciate beige, tell me. And I remembered the moment where it hit me that the middle that I used to think was one little spot in a large spectrum was actually

the entire spectrum other than just the points at the end. So on a scale of one to ten, I used to think the middle was a five. And then after my own breakdown, after breakdown, after breakdown, I realized holy shit, the middle is the three to seven, and that's where I like to live in my life. I don't like to be at a one to three, that's me in this depression. That's where I can't do shit. I don't like the world, I'm sad, I don't want to be here because the world is crazy. The world is, it's like the pus of humanity is coming out of

the wound right now. And for people like me, and maybe you who are empaths and can feel it could feel like torture to be here. And yet when I'm at a seven to a 10, that euphoria, you could call it manic. I call it you're just tapped into your genius. I actually don't like being there for too long because I don't get shit done then. I'm just so inspired. And it's great. But like the three to seven is where I am peacefully productive, which is my favorite place to be. And you know what helped me discover my mantra of peaceful productivity that I've been living into

and teaching for 10 years is powerful pivots, is the fact that every time I pivoted, I discovered a more authentic me. And I gotta tell you, beige is one of my favorite colors. So I had that moment and I actually reached out to Leela and I told her. I told her that the middle way is so much more expansive than I thought. And that all these what's the word? Generalizations of things are always this way or things are always that way, or I'll never do this, or I'll always do this. I've just discovered are completely false because you don't know what you don't know until you

know. So let yourself be open to the possibility that maybe there's another way. So let me now move into this section here. Ooh, we're at 23 minutes. This one's gonna be longer. All right. I'm gonna tell you a quick story of how failure helped me lean into pivots. Okay. And I'm gonna actually tie this specifically to this podcast. Now, as you listen, as you know the format here, if you have heard me say this before. And if not, since it's only episode two, I'm just gonna tell you. You might be a new person. Uh, I am teaching listening skills, which I believe are the most important

skills we never learn through storytelling. So I'm gonna tell you a story, and all you have to do is listen to the best of your ability. And again, if at this point you're at all distracted, like you're doing something else, and this is kind of on in the background, I'd say turn it off because the whole point of this is to practice listening. And I say that with love. Like do this when you can actually do it, because sometimes it's not the right time. Um, I'm gonna invite you to listen this way. So, speaking is the least effective form of communication, meaning we all think, you

know, we got to be these great speakers. And yes, and listening is actually about looking and feeling and hearing beyond someone's words. So as you listen to me, pay attention to my energy. Pay attention to where I pause, maybe where my voice goes higher, maybe when my pace changes. Just feel it and also see if you can listen for what are the moments in this story, without me telling you, that are the most meaningful to me. Like, what were those like aha moments that truly taught me the lessons that I'm trying to convey? At the end, I'll check in with you about, you know, how did

that go? And then I'll give you a little practice for before next episode. Because as I said, as a coach, even if you love this podcast but you do nothing with it, that's sort of a failure, but not like in the great way I'm saying. Do something, try this out, loves. When you not only become a better listener, but do it because you actually want to. Man, all of your relationships flourish in ways that are so meaningful. And guess what? I was researching happiness for over a decade. And you know what people say before they die, most of all, I wish I'd spent more time on

my relationships. Look it up. Google it if you don't believe me. All right. So by the way, I'm pivoting this podcast very much. If you listen to the trailer, I said I'm doing weekly 20 to 30 minute episodes, daily three to five minute little mantras, and then a monthly 90-minute. Now, if you can see in the list of my shows, I haven't done the daily ones and I haven't even posted every week because my life has been so insane because of all the pivots recently. I'm not gonna go into all those right now, but you can trust that I realized last week when I was very

upset that I didn't keep my commitment, that actually that format did not make sense anymore. So I changed it. And I'm not even gonna update the trailer because actually, this is exactly what I'm talking about. I let myself realize that actually what felt better, because my intention for doing this podcast was not to make anyone else happy, it was to do me, to share my stories, to share my tools. And whoever wants to listen, great. There's like no pressure. I used to feel like I wanted people to hear it all. I don't. I just want to get all of this, God, all of this life experience

that I feel like is profound because as a coach, I see it really helps people. I just want to put it out into the world. It's sort of my, my, my gift and my service. So I let myself pivot and I'm just gonna actually make these episodes as long as they need to be, and I'm gonna post them at a cadence that feels right. And that if I go back to a flow that feels like I want to do really mini ones or anything, then I'll pick that up, you know, I'll pick that up later. So I just wanted to share that as an actual example

right now of me doing this because you know, the people I respect the most aren't just like great speakers and teachers and charismatic and interesting. They actually do the stuff they're teaching. Then I know they're authentic. So that's who I want to be. So I'm practicing that. Here's my story on how I became the biggest failure and how that helped me pivot. Uh in my corporate career, and by the way, I'm infusing coaching tools into my stories. And so just listen to those as well. In my career, one of the things I learned and I did, and I'm so glad I did, and I always recommend

my clients do this, is I sought out mentors because I was honestly feeling very alone as this person that had this like super fast mind and left brain and super deep heart creative artist, right brain. And I wanted to find other people in the business world, because that's the world I was in, who were like me. I just wanted to learn from them. So I would just go on LinkedIn sometimes and search for people. And if I found someone, and by the way, I'm in San Francisco, right? There's like incredible humans here doing amazing things. If I found someone, I just messaged them. I was in

sales. I am probably the best person I know at writing a very short message to someone to get them to respond. Because that's what I had to do in sales, right? And it was so authentic that I have to tell you, probably 95% of the time they did. I found this guy, his name was Sam Shank. Well, his name is Sam Shank. Shout out to Sam if you ever hear this. He was at the time the founder, CEO of Hotel Tonight, one of my favorite apps that I still use all the time when I travel. They were brilliant. He'd been a serial entrepreneur, but what I

liked about Sam was not only was he literally the founder and CEO of a company that I was using to travel, which was my biggest passion, he'd also had this artistic background. So I was like, okay, I gotta meet this guy. So I sent him a message. Actually, I'm curious. I want to look up what I said. Point is, he got back to me and he said, sure, I have, you know, 15, 20 minutes. I have a tech crunch meeting right after you want to meet me? Yes. So I'm walking to meet Sam in the middle of the workday. By the way, I told my boss

I'm doing this. She was supportive because she was an awesome boss. Also, shout out to Karen. I've told you, but you're still, I think, the best boss I've ever had. She said, You do you. Go out, meet people. As long as you do your job well, which I was, take care of yourself. I hope more managers are like Karen. Everyone who gets to work with that woman is very blessed, like me. So I'm walking, I'm going to meet Sam, and I'm excited because at the time I was, again, really in this deep uh research mode of understanding corporate culture and happiness and fulfillment at work. And

Tony Robbins, who I'm assuming you might know of, he's a very famous coach. He says, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And I had just met Tony through another insane serendipitous pivot that I'll talk about another time. Uh, and I saw I was really in this space. So honestly, I actually only wanted mentors who not only were successful, but were fulfilled. So I meet Sam. He has this incredible, regal, charismatic, professional aura. He was so kind and just like we sat down. He said, Okay, I got 15 minutes. Like, how can I help you? And I literally looked at him and I said something like,

Hey Sam, first, thanks so much for taking the time to meet with me. I know you're super busy. So, like, before we dive in, I actually have one question because depending on the answer here, really the rest of the conversation, you know, we'll see how that goes. I said, you know, Tony Robbins, who's one of my biggest mentors, says that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And I'm just curious, you seem very successful, but are you happy and fulfilled? Because if not, uh, we probably we don't even need to have a conversation. I literally just said that because I was I meant it. I didn't

want to waste his time and I didn't want to waste my time. I wasn't trying to meet some successful CEO who was miserable. I'd met a lot of those people who were stressed out and unhappy. I didn't want to be like that. Uh and he looked at me, was it was kind of like I think he was half shocked and half impressed. I'm assuming, because what he said changed my life. And this is the uh yeah, this is where my relationship shifted to failure and success and pivots. He said, Oh, all right, well, you know what I think? I think failure without fulfillment is the ultimate

failure. Oh my god, it felt like the most ultimate mic drop moment where uh failure without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And that's when I thought, oh, could failure be as fulfilling as success? And uh yes. Oh, I've been joking, and my friends have been saying this is so funny, but now I swear when I fail, I recently got my heart broken into a bazillion pieces in a way I would have never expected, had to suddenly move, and then um got and lost my the biggest client. So I had the most like amazing success financially and then the biggest loss, uh, and I was very sick

all at the same time. I had so much failure, I had so much stress, and the pivots were showing up so not just intensely, but all at the same time, that if I truly didn't believe that a no was a yes to something better, I think I would have ended up in another, you know, quote, clinical depression or kind of spiritual shit show, meaning like I call it a shit spiral. You know, a shit spiral is when things are already bad and then you're like, oh my God, I'm already upset. And then now I'm upset that I'm upset, and now I'm anxious that I'm upset. Anyone

been there? Yeah. And I had this feeling like, what if I could turn a shit spiral into a love loop? And I have to say, I have. The last week of my life was probably the darkest, hardest week. And this week everything has shifted because I really do believe a no is a yes to something better. And in those moments where everything was falling apart, I remembered that in a way I never had before. I used my own tool. I remembered that failure without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And then I somehow said, you know what? You've always handled things before. And so if all of

these things are falling apart right now, meaning you have to leave the place you love the most, you just lost your biggest client that you love. You're the person you really were drawn to ended up being, um, I'm gonna say a borderline narcissist. Honestly, it's the first time I've actually ever had an experience like that after studying psychology for so many years. And I just surrendered and I said, all right, I'm gonna pivot because I think there must be a better plan. And I'm being super real. I ended up moving into a place that is beyond my dream. And I ended up getting contacted the next

day uh by uh someone with an opportunity that was so much more aligned for me. And I've been meeting the most incredible humans, and it took this person to show me finally what I don't want and set boundaries so clear that uh yeah, a no is a yes to something better, and you know, my life feels rad. That's why I'm saying this is dedicated to Rad because Rad, my doggy, he's not mine. I mean, he's mine, I'm his. My soulmate, my stoic teacher, Rad, showed me this year that Rad stands for really awesome detour. My entire life has been a series of really awesome detours. Really

awesome detours are pivots. It's when you just shift gears and you don't know. And not only is that courageous, but it's always led me to places that are beyond where I thought. Um, Sam changed my life. Sam and I became friends. We've been friends for many years. I haven't actually spoken to him in a long time, but I remember when Hotel Tonight got bought by Airbnb and he achieved massive success. All I kept thinking was, yeah. I, you know, I hope he's still as fulfilled as he was on that day because that was so moving. There's so many people in this world who are successful. You

know, they got the money, they got the stuff, but are they happy? That's the same question I've been asking my whole life. And truly, uh, meeting Sam, reshifting my perspective to failure and embracing the pivots, the failures, the really awesome detours, I've realized not only is my life now rad, my life has always been rad. I've just sort of never known it because you don't know what you don't know until you know. And now I know that when a detour comes along, or my car breaks down, or someone breaks my heart or disappoints me, or I lose a client and I wake up and I'm suddenly

different, I say thank you because I know something better is coming. My loves, the universe does have a bigger plan. And if you're not a spiritual or religious person, you know, uh, maybe there's different language, but whoever you are, the point is when you fight with reality, you always lose. If you're in an ocean and you're swimming and the waves are large and you get caught in a wave, uh, do you think you will ever get out of that if you fight the ocean? You won't. You will die. I got stuck in a riptide when I lived in Costa Rica, which by the way, I moved

to Costa Rica. It was a dream of mine. I'll talk about that. That was another massive pivot. And I was told to be careful of riptides, because riptides, you know, what happens is if you get caught in a riptide, meaning, you know, the way that the ocean is moving, like, is so powerful that people get, you know, thrown out to sea. And the reason people die is because they keep trying to get back to shore and then they get too tired and drown because you cannot do that. And what you're supposed to do in a riptide is just float, surrender, and literally let it carry you

out. And do you know how scary that could feel? And yet, because I remembered that, I thought, well, this is a fucking scary ass pivot, but I'm gonna let it take me. And then as soon as it took me enough, and I felt like, okay, I fucking worked my ass off to swim and climb onto some rocks and get myself back to shore. So I also want to say there's a time to surrender, there's a time to fight like a warrior. You just gotta know when to do which one. People are always looking for these generalizations. This is how I have to be all the time.

No, you can't be any way all the time. I think to be a real wise, courageous, stoic human, stoicism, four principles: moderation, justice, courage, wisdom. Taoism, though, for me is is the one um, I don't know, way of living, I'd say, that really speaks to me, which is just it is, right? It's the emptiness of the cup that allows it to hold, you know, the coffee or the tea. So the point is, it's like I've lived into these ideas so much. And I try to be courageous and I try to remember that there's a time to swim like your life depends on it, and there is

a time to float, because if you choose the wrong time, it won't work. So I hope that this might help you decide how to pivot in your life and just listen a little deeper to your own self, like you did to me. The next time you come to a place where you're like, oh my God, is this when I pivot? Before you make an emotional decision, take a step back. Listen to yourself, but not just the voices in your head, listen to the various voices. And remember that when we're super emotional, we're not rational. So actually, I never make decisions about a pivot when I'm super

emotional, meaning super happy or super upset. I'm not in that middle beige path. Uh that's because I've listened to myself enough and seen when I do that, it leads to more trouble. And sometimes it's been fun, but it's not worth it. So listen to yourself enough to figure out am I pivoting out of fear? Am I pivoting out of passion? Am I pivoting out of a commitment I made to someone else? Do I want to live my life based on other people? Right. And then do what feels right. I'm not encouraging you to change gears unless it's the right thing to do. I am encouraging you

to not stay on a path where you're winning the wrong race. You feel me? All right. I hope that was helpful. So, how was that? Check in. That was a long time. That was 40 minutes. Wow. And what was it like to feel into my energy? What'd you notice that was super important to me? Honestly, the most pivotal part of that moment was obviously when Sam said, you know, failure without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And uh gosh, I said so many other things, it doesn't even matter. Just notice what you noticed. And this week, here's your little homework assignment or invitation, not something you gotta

do, because remember, you don't gotta do anything. You can choose to do this. When you're having conversations, focus beyond people's words. Meaning, don't not listen to their words. Listen to their words, but look at their face, look at their body language, listen to how they're speaking. You can do this on the phone. See how that changes things, see how that changes your experience of the conversation, and also see how it changes the people you're talking to. Just notice. Next time I am going to be interviewing one of the most inspiring women I have ever met. She is an incredible human being who's working to bring compassion

to the Israeli healthcare system right now. And I'm gonna just say that. If that's interesting to you, tune in. And also, I forgot to say this last time subscribe and share this podcast. My producer will be proud. Yeah, if you feel like this is helpful, if you feel like this is serving you for whatever reason, whether you like my stories or you're learning or both, which is I hope the intention, share this with anyone who you think would benefit. This is my way of just sharing from a place of love the things that have saved my life and made it uh such an adventure. See ya

next time. Stay radio.