Friendship's Crossroads: Masterful Listening, Release, and Embracing the Art of Being a Better Friend

Hey, masterful listener, welcome back. We're going to be talking about friendships, the complexity of friendships, the beauty of friendships, how I think in a big way, our friendships, our relationships make the world go round. They bring us so much joy, and they can also bring us so much grief and pain. And as a dear friend just said to me today, he goes, Svet, it feels like you're in a massive time of loss and release and grief. As I've been facing so many friendships ending and shifting, and it is incredibly hard because I love my friends. Sometimes I joke, I wish I didn't love them so much

because it wouldn't hurt so much when things don't go the way I want, right? In life. Sometimes our relationships just don't go the way we want. Sometimes we can genuinely try to show up in the best way, the kindest way, the most caring way, and yet that is not how it lands for someone else. You know, that's one of the reasons I started this podcast, is because I knew that I wanted to become a better listener. I had listened enough to the people in my life who would say things to me like, hey, Svet, I feel like you're making it about you. You're not really listening

to me to go, okay, there must be some truth here, right? Because if you're hearing a similar pattern emerge from people in your life, I feel like there's probably some truth to it. And it's much easier to look at others and go, well, you're not doing this for me, or you're being this way, but what about us? How are we showing up in our friendships? How can we be better? How do we know when to keep investing in someone and when to release it and when to say goodbye and how to navigate that? How do we survive the heartbreak of losing a really good friend? Because

to me, that's harder than losing a love interest or a romantic partner. I feel that's true because somehow in my mind, when I have a friend that I love, which is pretty much anyone I consider a friend as someone I really love, in my mind, I'm like, well, yeah, they don't ever go away. Like friendships are forever. And yet they're not. I've been seeing recently that despite my sincere effort and care, I'm just having friendships end. Um, and you know, that's actually okay because I don't want to have friends who don't want to be my friend. I don't want to have friends who don't think I'm

a good friend. I don't want to have friends who don't appreciate me. I don't want to have friends who don't want to invest in growing with me, knowing that I'm I'm fucked up just like everybody else. I got my flaws, I got plenty of them. I'm very aware of them and I'm not aware of all of them. I keep learning. But I also know that I'm a great friend. I know I've been a great friend. I know I care about being a better friend. I know that I really do want to listen to the best of my ability, and that I am by no means a

masterful listener all the time, but I'm really making an effort to be. So I'm recording this as I feel my heart breaking, as I'm realizing another friendship is ending with someone I really didn't imagine that with. And yet perhaps it is clearing me for more aligned friendships and relationships. So before I dive in, and I'm gonna share some stories of what's been happening in my friendships recently and why I think they've been shifting radically and what I'm learning and how I want to be a better friend moving forward so that my friendships and relationships thrive. I'm gonna invite you to listen in a certain way, right?

Because we're in listening school. But

first, I just want us to all tune in for a moment and think about the people in our life, our friends who we love, who we appreciate. Think of one person right now. Think of the first person who comes to mind, who's been there through a lot. The good, the bad, all of life. I mean, what would we do without friends? I mean, I can't even imagine it. I feel like I've always had close friends. I feel like I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to cultivate friendships because they've just brought me so much joy. I've loved meeting new people. I've loved growing

with people through time. I've loved seeing things shift with people. One of my favorite things is actually when difficulties come up in friendships. How do we overcome them? How do I overcome them? So really tune into who in your life right now feels like a really great friend. And just send them some love in this moment. Send them a virtual hug, some gratitude. Because you know, nobody owes us anything, no one has to keep being your friend. People are choosing to be.

And I want you to tune into someone right now that you used to be friends with, to a friendship that's ended,

and just feel into the loss of that, the grief of that. Maybe you've healed it, maybe you're still healing it. I invite you to really feel that loss or grief or pain. Because it's really important to honor that, right? The fact that you can feel that means you've loved. In a way, you know, they say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. And recently I've been like, uh, screw that. But I think it is better because you know, some people don't ever let themselves love at all because they're too afraid to lose. And yet the ability and the capacity

to love despite loss is massive. It's beautiful, it's powerful. And as I'm going through my own time of massive loss right now, I hope that it will make me even more open to love. And I hope that for you. So I invite you to listen today through the lens of possibility, that through listening to me share my story about my own friendship loss and friendship growth, that you envision a world where your friendships continue to grow, and that everyone that you've had to say goodbye to has really opened up a doorway for you to step into relationships and friendships that feed your soul in a way

that maybe you didn't even know you needed. Because I do believe that a no is a yes to something better, but sometimes it really can be hard to accept endings, especially when you don't want them, right? Like a mutually agreed upon ending can be sad, but it I don't think it's as hard as when one friend, for example, wants to keep working on a relationship and another one just doesn't. Yeah, but it happens, it happens to the best of us, right? So I'm gonna jump into the story. And as always, if you are down to go on a journey, listen to a story about what recently

happened in my life with a very, very dear friend and what happened when we took some space and talked, um, I think you'll find it inspiring. And hopefully, as I share what I'm really getting clear on about myself. And this is not necessarily an easy thing for me to share because I'm seeing things that I really hope to shift and change, but I'm doing my best to also

be kind enough to me to know that while my friendships and relationships have to do with me, actually, at some level, it's also not about me. If you're in a friendship or in a relationship with someone who has a story about themselves that is so ingrained that no matter what you do, that is what they're gonna believe. Then at some point, it's very smart to walk away, right? For me, for a long time, I've heard, and I haven't heard this as much recently. This was probably more a few years back, but I often heard people saying in my kind of close-knit community, Svet, you make things

about you, meaning I take up too much space. I talk too much, I'm kind of selfish. And that was obviously very hurtful because first I didn't think that was true. I'm like, well, what do you mean? I'm listening to you and I care about you. But when I started to reflect on it, and I was, you know, I asked for examples, I realized, okay, yeah, I guess I understand. You know, when I speak about something, I'm usually super passionate about it. Even that feels like it takes up a lot of space. And not everyone has the ability to express themselves as clearly and as deeply as

I do. And so when you combine someone like me, who's very expressive, with someone who at the time said to me, I feel like I don't have enough space here, uh, it's it's a dangerous situation, right? Because I'm someone who can usually ask for more space, but that person couldn't. And I had no idea they didn't feel like they had enough space, right? It's like we were living in two different stories. I was living in a story where we have a friendship, I share more, they share less, but they just don't want to share more. They don't have more to share. And really it was like,

no, they didn't feel safe and comfortable sharing more. And when we got into it and we talked more because I was genuinely curious, I realized, okay, well, I think this person has a struggle expressing themselves and is kind of a people pleaser, and that's not my fault. So I thought, okay, well, what can I do? I'm gonna encourage them to speak up more. I'm gonna try to listen when they speak up more. I'm gonna check in more. When I reach out to them, I'm gonna make sure that I really ask them about themselves before I dive into me. And I've done that. I honestly, that's one

of the reasons I started this show. I realized how important it is to make sure that what you say is what people hear. That's not always the case. Uh, and it's so hard, it's so tricky in relationships. I always say relationships are just complicated. First of all, we're all making assumptions about each other. And once we have a story about how someone is, so for example, once a friend of mine has a story that wow, Svet really is kind of selfish and makes it all about her, then no matter what I do, they will look for evidence that supports that story. Just like if you have

a story of I'm not good enough, you will keep finding every piece of evidence that suggests that you're not good enough. That's why I always say and ask you, the listener, but also pretty much everyone I talk to, what is the story that you keep feeding that you're not even aware of? Because if you really think you're not good enough, no matter what people tell you about how good you are, and that you are good enough, you will still find a way to convince yourself that you're not good enough. And that's sad because at some point it actually makes sense for people to be like, you

know what, I'm done. Because it doesn't feel good actually, as a friend who's showing up for a friend to constantly be told, well, you're making me feel like I'm not a good enough friend. A, because I and you, listener, you're not making anyone feel anything. You're doing something or not, or saying something or not that is causing your friend to have feelings. And we are not responsible for people's feelings, but we absolutely contribute to their experience. And I think a good friend is someone who listens well enough to you to know your own trauma, to know your triggers, to know your pain, and to do their

best to try to not uh constantly trigger that. But if they see it's triggered, they work with you through it. And hopefully they do of your best interest at heart, right? And one thing I can say about me is I do have people's best interest at heart when I'm in my like equilibrium state. Sometimes if I get really hurt or sad or upset, sure, I might have some thoughts of, well, screw this person or bah, you know, but that is just a very short blip of time in those moments. If I'm feeling that way about someone, I try not to communicate with them. I realize that,

oh, I'm probably gonna not feel this way very soon, you know, once I get through that emotional wave. And that's been another big um, I'd say growth for me is I try very much to not communicate with my friends when I'm pissed off and upset. Because usually what I say then isn't exactly how I'd like to show up. So what happened a few weeks ago was I was having a very rough day. I was very sad because I just found out about my doggy rad's brain tumor, and I was just feeling very alone. I was feeling like I don't have anyone to talk to, which was

particularly sad because I always felt like I had this massive loving community. And suddenly here I am dealing with a lot of grief, and I reached out to a few people to talk to, and neither one were available. And I went through that entire week of finding out about Rad's brain tumor without seeing a single person. I just needed a hug and I didn't get it, and I was just really questioning what am I doing wrong? Like, what am I doing wrong as a friend that my friends are not being good friends to me? And I kind of knew that wasn't the best question to be

asking, but I brought this up to a really good friend of mine. And his reaction was, Well, when you're ready to hear some hard things, I'll tell you. And I said, just tell me. And when I got his message, it was very, very painful. He essentially said that, you know, on this day today, when I asked him about my friendship and whether I was being a good friend and why I was lacking community, he said that I didn't check in with him about how he was doing. He was experiencing a friend of his kind of dying any day. And he felt like this was another sign

that I make it all about me, and that being in a relationship with me means that I am basically not a good listener. And he even said, for someone who has a podcast about listening, this is even more frustrating. And literally at that point, I just kind of felt like I got punched in the soul because here I was reaching out for some support to someone I genuinely care about, to someone who I feel like I do support in a massive way. And all he felt was that I was making it about me and that I wasn't a good friend. And it was so sad that

all I could do is kind of shut down. And I said, you know, I need a few days. I'm just gonna go inward and I'm going to just really reflect on what I am doing? How am I showing up? How do I want to be showing up? Because my friendships are not working. A lot of them are not working. And so I did that. I I kind of told a few people that I communicate with more frequently that, you know, I'm taking a week to be kind of silent aside from my work. I don't, I'm not gonna talk to anyone. And I did that. And it

was actually very powerful. Um, I would do these nightly journeys with myself where I would kind of get really quiet and put one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly, and just run through all the loss, all the people who I've kind of messed up relationships with in the past six months. And it's quite a few. I had someone in my life who was like a sister to me, who stayed with me, who I really upset and triggered, and she left without us really fixing it. And I haven't spoken to her in months. That was very sad. The more I reflected on that,

the more I thought, man, I wish I could redo that. I said some things that I didn't realize could be really hurtful to this person, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt this person because I love her. But that happened. Uh, I had another friend who I had a big misunderstanding with, who I actually got to the point, though, that after years of this, I thought, no, we are just not aligned. And that one was easier to let go of. That caused more anger in me, actually. And then I got clear on, you know what, I'm done. And actually that was powerful, even

though it hurt, because I think we need to know when we're done. I've said this to people a lot. If you don't know your deal breaker, like if you don't know at what point you're really done, you're probably gonna get sucked into and stuck in a lot of relationships that just cause you suffering consistently. And that's not great either. Like I actually rather have fewer people in my life that are I have a deep, strong, committed bond to than a bunch more that I'm just like constantly like, ugh, you know, I'm not sure how you want to see this person. You know, that's kind of who

I could tell if I have a great friend is that when they call me, I want to pick up the phone. When they message me, I want to respond. I want to make time for them. I don't just like find time here and there to try to maintain a relationship because we've used to be close or maybe because I need something from them. No, that's just very depleting. Uh and there have been a few other people in my life. One of my best friends has been going through such a hard time that she just hasn't been able to show up. And while I completely understood that,

I still felt kind of abandoned. And this is all happening while a lot of other losses are happening. So I'm really in this time where I'm facing the Loss of my best friend Rad. And a lot of my friends are just kind of falling away. And that has been so painful. And a question that I had a lot, and that I even had today was why am I not worth fighting for? Why, when hard things happen, do people run away from me? Because it's happened a lot. I'm usually the person when something goes weird or wrong in a relationship that prompts the communication. I'd say 95%

of my life with people, if there was some sort of incident or conflict, I would be the one that took the first step. And I sort of embraced that as time went on. But there's really a deep part of me that wonders, why am I not worth taking the next step towards? Why am I not worth people wanting to work on it? But honestly, and you've heard me say this before, if you've listened to the show, I don't think that's a great question because I'm not sure this is about my worth. I think this might truly be about compatibility. You know, like in our romantic relationships,

I think compatibility is really important. And if you're familiar from Hitler, if you're familiar with uh the Gottmans, um, there are these experts in relationships. They say that it that the true strength of a strong relationship is not actually the good stuff, it's how you fight, it's how you have conflict. And this friend I mentioned who I had this interaction with that really inspired me to go inward. Him and I spent two hours on the phone today. It'd been a week. And I reached out and said, Hey, I'm ready. I'd like to talk. And when we started talking for the first 20 minutes or so, he

was super frustrated. And so was I. And we kept going. We acknowledged it. We listened, we listened, we listened. We reflected back what we heard. We disagreed respectfully, but we kept going. And by the end of it, uh I felt so much better because he heard me and I heard him, and we came up with a plan for what to do so that we can rewrite our story moving forward. Because I shared with him that I really think you have a story about me that is Svet makes everything about her, but I really don't think that's true. But I think you're making it true. You're looking

for evidence, and I really would want you to stop looking for evidence for that. Because even if there's a hint of that, that's still true, I want to rewrite the story. I want the story to be like, sure, sometimes Svet makes things about her, and that's okay. She's allowed to, and I know Svet cares about me. So we came up with a little kind of funny way where we could call each other out that if we're having a conversation in a moment and he starts to feel, oh, wow, I am feeling this like she's making it out of her again. What can I say to sort

of pause it and bring it up and check in on that? And we came up with a word, and we're gonna do that because he wants to invest in us and in me, and I sure as hell want to invest in us and in him. And at the end of our conversation, I brought up another friend who I've been feeling a lot of distance with, and I said, you know, I don't know what to do because I've been reaching out for months and I haven't really heard back much, and I feel like there's a distance, and I don't even know if I should reach out because

I feel like if I do, it might not land well. And he said, I really encourage you to do that. I think you're an important person in this person's life. And when I reached out, I basically heard back, and the person said, You know what, I'm actually fine with this distance. Like, I wish you the best. And I literally felt like someone really punched me in the gut. I felt nauseous, and yet I thought, wow, okay, how do I let this go in a healthy way? And here's what I asked myself, and here's what I hope will serve you. If you have a friendship that is

ending, if you've drifted apart from someone, if you feel like despite your sincere desire, you've been misunderstood. Like I love this person, I feel like she's been an incredible friend. We've been so involved in each other's lives that it's honestly kind of unbelievable for me that she wouldn't want to deepen and fix or grow, and yet that is what it's seeming to be. So I asked myself, one, did I really try? Like, have I done my best? And I have. I have, and and clearly my best isn't good enough, but uh did I really try? And if the answer was yes, which it was, next question

for me is how can I radically accept this? Because here's the reality: we could do our very best, we could show up as the best friend we are able to show up as in that moment, and it might still not be enough for someone. You might cherish someone deeply and tell them that and show them that, and they don't feel it. You might think someone is more than enough as a friend, and yet they keep feeling like they're not a good enough friend. That's happened to me, and it sucks. It's like, how are you not hearing me? How are you not feeling my love and yet

they're not? And I don't want to spend my life convincing people of anything. And so I think that's the hardest part is radically accepting that just because you've done your best and just because you deeply love someone and want them in your life does not mean that they feel the same about you. And it does not mean you're bad and a shitty friend, and it does not mean that they're bad and a shitty friend. It means that right now, wherever you got to with this person, your orbits are just not intersecting, not aligned. And that sucks because I always want to work on it, I always

want to fix it, I always want to do better, but I can't with this person because the last thing I want to do, and the last thing I want you to do, is to spend time pouring into something that's just leaking. Sometimes we just can't be heard, and that's a wild thing for me to say as the host of a podcast about masterful listening, because I want to believe that through masterful listening, we can find a way to be heard, but I think perhaps not because for masterful listening to work, someone has to be willing to engage you. And there are some people who are not

willing to engage and face themselves and have difficult conversations and who think they're not good enough, or this or that. And the reality is that's sad and it's okay because we all have stories that we live into, but there's no way you can address something with another being if they're not willing to show up, right? Like in a marriage, both people have to make it want to work in a friendship, both people need to want to make it work.

So then instead of asking, well, what can I keep doing here to feed this thing that's kind of dead or dying and doesn't really want to live anymore? The question is, what can I do better next time? How can I be a better friend to a those who still want to invest in my friendship? How do I be a better friend to those who are in my life? And who do I want to be friends with in the future? Because I want to be friends with people in the future who A can communicate in the moment with me. This is my number one thing that I've

learned so deeply. Most of the reason that my friendship, or let's make it plural, most of the reasons that my friendships have fallen apart with close people are because I was doing something or saying something or being a certain way that people didn't like, it hurt them, it frustrated them, but they didn't tell me. They held on to it, they held on to it for so long that at some point it became too heavy and they ran away. They couldn't face it and they kind of disappeared, they pulled away. And it was so devastating because I said, Why didn't you tell me? Why, why didn't you

give me a chance? Because if people know something about me and I know this is true, if you come to me and you tell me something directly, I will listen. Might not like it. I won't fight people on that. I really respect when people can come. I always say direct is kind, clear is kind, being nice is not kind. Stop trying to be nice to people and hold the truth in. That ruins relationships. And a lot of people honestly just can't do that. And I've realized that doesn't make them wrong. They're just not my people. I will no longer have friends who are incapable or at

least not willing to work on being direct, stop holding things in and then blowing up or running away. That depletes trust. It makes me feel unsafe. And um I'm done. I don't want that anymore. It honestly is a recipe for disaster. And I've had enough uh experiences of that in my friendships where I thought maybe that's why I've attracted a lot of people pleasers. And I'm not judging people who are people pleasers. I have aspects of that myself, but I push myself that if someone upsets me in a moment, I tell them. I tell them because I love them. I tell them because I care about

being real. And I'm allowed to be upset, as are the people in my life who I've upset. But what I think is a crappy thing to do is to pretend everything's okay, not bring it up, and then well, that leads to friendships ending. And that sucks. So if you care about people in your life and there's things you haven't been telling them because you don't want to hurt their feelings or whatever your reason, uh, I highly encourage you to find the courage and remember that love in relationships is being able to go and have enough intimacy to say, hey, I'm feeling a certain way. Can I

share this with you because I do care about our friendship and I want to clear it up before it builds up to a ton of resentment? I guarantee your relationship will benefit even if it's uncomfortable. We have to be able to get uncomfortable sometimes. Or we have to be willing to lose people who I think want authenticity and real love. We're not gonna get out of this life and have true relationships if we're not able to have difficult conversations. We gotta stop trying to be super sweet and nice and hold it in and just, I don't know, uh, act like it's all okay when it's not

okay. It is okay to tell someone that they've hurt your feelings. I think that's much more okay than to either ghost them or just build up a ton of resentment and then uh, you know, look for every piece of evidence to support this crappy story you've made up about someone, you don't even really know what's going on.

Yeah. So again, if you're finding yourself in this heartbreaking moment with someone where you're realizing, wow, this friendship is ending, and this person doesn't really want to invest in it, I would ask, and I've done that today, did I really try? Like, did I do everything I could? How do I radically accept this and not take it personally? Because as much as I'm sure I could have been a better friend to this person, she could have also been a much better friend to me. And really all I wanted was the chance to even listen and talk. But you can't show up for someone else. You can

only show up for you. So, what can I do better next time? Is the third question. And I want to do better next time. I want more aligned friendships. I'm gonna take this time of massive loss and get clear on who am I? Who do I want to be? And who are the people who deserve me in their life and who I deserve? What is my new friendship story? And I want to own the work that I must do because I want a friendship story where the people who call me their friend, when they think of me, they think of their champion and they think of

a truly great listener and they think of a kind person who loves them and accepts them exactly the way they are, and who know that they are more than enough, but that I will also tell them when they're being a shithead. Uh I want friends in my life who are confident enough to be direct with me and who know how to say they're sorry when they mess up because they'll know that I will always forgive them. Uh, because they're human and they're allowed to make mistakes. I want people in my life who are willing to have difficult conversations with me and also be there for moments

of triumph and joy. Yeah. I want people in my life who see all of my flaws and also beyond them see that I'm a person who is so aware of all the crap within me that I wish was better or different, but who they know is doing work every day, whether it's through making this show or through the coaching or through the therapy or through all the things I do, like I'm I'm doing, I'm trying, I'm working on it, and I'm trying to be nicer to me. I'm trying to forgive myself for the fact that so many relationships in my life have been falling apart and

ending, but that while I have some part in it, so does the other person, right? And so I'm gonna do my best moving forward to first of all lower my expectations of people because I think there's a lot of truth to the people who've told me that my expectations are way too high. I give a lot. I'm a giver. So I think on some level I want a lot back, and that has hurt people. That's made people feel like they're not doing enough. I'm really, I hear that. I got it. I'm gonna see what I can do to reasonably lower my expectations because I think there's

wisdom in that. I think our expectations do cause a lot of pain. I also am gonna keep being mindful of how much space I do take because I don't want to make people feel like they don't have enough space, but I also want friends who know how to take up space and who don't blame me for their feeling of a lack of space, who realize that I got space and they have space, and sometimes they take more space, and sometimes I take more space, but that it is their responsibility to take up space, not mine. I don't want to be tiptoeing around walking on eggshells so

that somebody could feel okay. Uh-uh. No, that is called, I don't know what that's called. I don't want that. That's BS. So I will be more mindful of how much space I'm taking, but I also will be way more mindful of who I invest my time in. And I'm really encouraging, as the universe sends me new people and new friends, to send along those that are completely fine taking up space or giving space because I really think both really matter. And I'm gonna really take time and be slower when it comes to letting new people in because I'm the kind of person that I can meet

someone, it's like, oh my gosh, I love you, you're my best friend. Uh-uh. No, I want to slow it down because it's that overpouring and just that intensity of like connection that actually I think causes trouble. I I want to take time to get to know people. I want people to take time to get to know me. I want to keep believing in love and friendship, even though unfortunately in my life I've seen a lot of disappointment and loss around it. And as I wrap up, I want to say this. I am so grateful to the people in my life who don't give up on me,

who see my flaws, but can feel my commitment, love, loyalty, who I can share how I feel with without them feeling I'm taking up their space, who can feel my genuine desire to be a better listener, even if I fail sometimes, uh, who remind me to be better, but that being better does not mean that I'm not enough. I'm really grateful to the friends who've also forced me to really look at parts that I don't love. Um I'm grateful to the friends who've left it because you've shown me what can happen when I don't make what's really important to me clear. You've shown me the power

of

you've shown me the power of love and loss and how they're intertwined. You've also shown me what can happen when you leave and do come back. I've had people leave and return and actually apologize and say that they feel bad that they didn't know how to speak or communicate. That meant a lot. Um and I'm really, really, really, really grateful to the people who keep showing up. You know who you are. I'm not gonna name you. I've had people in my life who've continued to invest in relationships with me for decades. I've had some newer friends show up who've been doing that. I'm basically grateful to

everyone. If you're my friend now and you feel like I'm doing great, thank you for receiving it. If you're a friend now and you feel like I'm being a crappy friend, can you please tell me? I probably have some idea, but I don't want to have to read minds. You know, don't make people have to figure you out and guess. It's so kind to just tell them. So thank you if you've left me and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to be a better friend. Anyone who's been a really good friend who's no longer a really good friend, you could know that I wanted to be

better. I wanted to love you deeper. And it sucks. And if I could undo it, I would undo it, but I can't go back. What I can do is make a deeper commitment to myself and to those in my future to be even more honest and more loving and to not shut down because honestly, I wanted to shut down in this past week. I wanted to just say, screw everyone. I don't even want to have friends anymore. I just want to live all alone and I want to only be within my own little world. And honestly, no, I don't. I just want to have the right

people in my life, and I want people who know how to forgive and speak and laugh through tears and grow. Because I know that's possible.

I hope we can all rewrite our stories and that our friendship stories become even more deep and meaningful and powerful, and that the loss that we experience can truly grow our hearts just as much as they break our hearts. And your homework for this episode is to go and tell the people you love that you love them and don't take any of those friendships for granted. Because I really do believe that our friendships are the most sacred relationships. And truly thank you to everyone in my life who helps me be a better friend and go inward and take responsibility. And thank you also to everyone who

has shown me what is really important for me and who will help me make better choices as I move forward with who I let into my life and who I invest in. And for everyone I've hurt and I haven't been a great friend to, I'm really sorry. And I hope that whoever is in your life now feeds your heart and your soul in the way I couldn't. I wish that all of us have friends who light up our soul and feed us in exactly the ways we need. Because I think everybody deserves that.